How I got my first break… literally. Part 1

Have you ever had something really important to do, that it made you so nervous you couldn’t sleep the night before or eat breakfast the next day? Like a job interview, giving a speech, or performing in front of a large audience? This is how I felt the morning of May 3rd, 2018. I woke up early, unable to sleep because I was so anxious. Don’t get me wrong, this day was the most important day of my entire life, so nerves were expected, but not for the reason you would think. To explain, I have to go back in time about a month to April 8th.

April 8th, 2018 was a beautiful, sunny Sunday. I had traveled to Connecticut the day before to visit my family for the weekend, and to celebrate my Aunt Stacy’s birthday. My aunt has Down Syndrome, and her birthday is the most epic day of the year, so no matter where we are in the world, we always make sure we make it home to celebrate it with her. I had been living in Philadelphia for about 8 months and was working a 9 - 5 job at a financial firm in Center City doing Graphic Design and Marketing. The job was good, but I had been distracted lately by an upcoming opportunity I had in the music industry, so I was excited to take the weekend off to spend time with my family.

The drive from Philadelphia was pretty easy, though, I was pulled over by a cop on the Jersey Turnpike because the officer had mistaken my car for another car that had illegally crossed the barrier between the “Cars Only” and the “Cars, Trucks, and Buses” side of the highway. I remembered seeing the car make the risky maneuver and said to myself, “What an idiot.” I pleaded with the officer that it wasn’t me and that I, too, had seen the car do that and agreed it was a dumb move. The officer believed me and let me go. I drove extra carefully the rest of the way to Connecticut and was excited when I arrived at a rehearsal space in Norwalk to have band practice with my friend, Skip. For the past couple of months, Skip and I had been rehearsing music pretty much every weekend for his band, Almost July. The band was just the two of us at the time and the rehearsals were just as much of a fun hang-out as they were a rehearsal. We had never been to this space before, so it took some time to get set up. We were making so many jokes and goofing around, so Mel, a longtime friend of mine and Skip’s manager, had to reign us in, reminding us that we only had the space for a couple of hours. I had been playing drums a lot lately, practicing nearly every day after work, so I showed them a few new things I had been learning. Mel was impressed that I was able to play while wearing boots that had a heel that was a couple of inches high on them. I shrugged and smiled as this was something I prided myself in being able to do. I loved these boots so much and felt that shoe fashion was important, even though no one could see my feet while I played drums. Silly, I know, but walking on and off stage in sneakers did not make me feel as “hot.”

After rehearsal, I headed back to my parent’s house. They were out running errands and came by to pick me up. My sister, Cori was still in college, and Carly was coming to visit the next day, so I was excited to spend time with my parents all by myself. We did some shopping at the mall and decided we would eat dinner out that night. We chose one of our favorite spots, Bar 333 in Milford where my dad and I had played several gigs over the years. Their food is just as good as their atmosphere and drinks. I decided to have some wine with my sandwich and enjoyed the conversation with my parents, talking about music and what I had coming up.

That night, I watched TV with my parents and took silly photos on Snap Chat with my mom. This was something we loved to do since my mom and I have the same strange sense of humor. I went to bed that night, grateful for my amazing family, and couldn’t wait to see the rest of them tomorrow.

The next day, my sister, Carly, and her boyfriend (now husband), Shaepes (His name is Paul, but everyone calls him Shaepes - pronounced Shapes) came to the house before my aunt’s party and we all decided to carpool together in my car. We drove a couple of miles to my aunt’s and blasted music with the windows down, enjoying the breeze and the nice weather. The party was so much fun as usual. Stacy was all smiles knowing the day was all about her. We sang Happy Birthday and Stacy freaked out as we all pointed to her to blow out the candles on her gluten-free cake. My family has this embarrassing family song that we sing after singing Happy Birthday. I’m not sure where it came from but both sides of my family sing it. As a kid, I used to run out of the room with my older cousin, Alissa because we both couldn’t stand the song. Now, we all sing along at the top of our lungs, slamming our hands down on the table like a drum. The song goes:

It’s somebody’s birthday today
It’s somebody’s birthday today
The candles are lighted on somebody’s cake
And we’re all excited for somebody’s sake
An old fashion table is set (this is when we slam our hands down and yell bada bum bum bum)
For a day we will never forget (bada bum bum bum)
Happy Birthday to youuuuu! (everyone points to the person whose birthday it is)
And many more toooooo! (everyone holds up two fingers and points again)
Because it’s YOUR birthday, today!

After singing the song, we passed around my Mema’s homemade gluten-free cake, and the treats my Papa had picked up from the Italian bakery. We stuffed our faces and cleared the table to play Left-Right-Center. This game has been in my family for years. We like it because Stacy can play along too. We all play with $3 and whoever wins gets the pot. I actually had never played the game up until this point but decided today would be a good day to join. Carly ended up winning and Stacy got mad. We quickly distracted her by choosing to open up presents. It’s always so nice to see Stacy overjoyed on her birthday. My family is pretty loud during these get-togethers, but on Stacy’s birthday, we always go over the top. My favorite is when my Uncle Ray (my Mema’s brother, so I guess he’s technically my Great Uncle) gifts Stacy in dollar bills, so she fills even richer. To Stacy, she would rather have three $1 dollar bills than one, $100 bill as the three $1 dollar bills seem like more money to her. Uncle Ray has found a million creative ways to do this for Stacy. One time, he filled a balloon with money and popped it in front of her. Her face was priceless. We all woo and cheer and it makes her the happiest person in the world. This is why I love my family.

After Stacy opened her presents, one of my cousins dug out some old videos of our previous family parties so we all raced to the living room to watch. I was embarrassed watching 8-year-old me on Christmas yelling nonsense in the Karaoke machine someone got as a present that year. I was so annoying! Cringing at these embarrassing but great memories, I declined to watch anymore as I feared I would sit there for hours when I already had a three-hour drive ahead of me back to Philly. I had to head back home because I had work the next day, so I responsibly hugged my family members goodbye and headed back to my parent’s house to get my things before heading home. Carly and Shaepes agreed that it was probably a good idea to head back too and decided to carpool with me once again. 

TRIGGER WARNING:

The drive from my aunt’s house to my parent’s house was only about 10 minutes. It was a nice drive that was pretty much all on one road called River road. The entire drive has a beautiful river on one side, with a rocky ledge on the other. Occasionally, there are some businesses and condo complexes on the rocky side, but for the most part, it is a pretty narrow road. I thought about the day before and how I had been pulled over on the highway for the other car’s mistake and decided to look at my speed limit to make sure I was driving at the correct speed. Shortly after checking the speedometer, I looked up and noticed a black car coming straight at us, in our lane. The road was curving fast, and all of us said “What the fuck?!” That’s all I remember.

From what I was told, two young drivers were racing back and forth on River road for quite some time when one of them, the black car, cut into the oncoming lane to pass his friend on the turn. The black car did not hit us but instead cut off his friends, causing them to lose control and hit my car. I don’t remember anything about the collision, but it’s almost like I have memory in the form of sound bites, or maybe it has been my sister’s recounting of the incident that she unfortunately remembers and has told me in detail. Here are some of the bits that I remember:

The feeling of gravel under my palms as someone had placed me on the side of the road next to Carly. There was the sharpest pain in my right foot. It was quiet but loud. People panicking. People yelling. People crying. I’m on a stretcher, and I feel the ambulance doors shut. We drive off. I pass out again. My skinny jeans get cut off. I pass out. My laces are loosened. My favorite boots come off. My foot aches. I’m on a table getting a CAT scan and am crying. They tell me to stop crying and relax. I pass out. I have to pee. I feel the bedpan slide under me. I can finally see. My cousin, Molly, and my other sister, Cori is standing next to me. Molly wants to be a nurse someday. She is calmly brushing my forehead with her hand and smiling at me. Cori has tears in her eyes and is trying to make the situation less scary. I pee in front of them, laughing about how weird it felt to pee laying down. I still don’t know anything. I don’t know what happened or why. I don’t know that Carly was with me or that Shaepes was there too. Luckily, we were brought to the hospital where my mom had worked for 30 years. She and my dad were comforting Carly in another room who was in an immense amount of pain having broken her collarbone and was in danger of her lungs collapsing due to breaking her sternum. 

Me in the hospital emergency room.

Finally, we are brought upstairs to our hospital rooms. I get upstairs first, and Carly had asked to be rolled into my room so she could see me before settling into her own. We had known many of the nurses that were there because my mom had worked there for so many years, so they rolled her into my room without question. It was the first time we had seen each other since the accident. Carly reaches out with her good arm and grabs my hand. There had to be 5-10 nurses there to make sure we were okay and they were all watching this exchange. Again, I have no idea what happened, but Carly reached out and I began crying. I said I was sorry because she was hurt. I felt like it was my fault because I was driving. Was there anything I could do differently to have prevented us from getting hit? Carly starts crying and says, “You saved us. You saved our lives.” Everyone in the room was crying. It was the most emotional thing I had ever experienced. 

Carly gets taken to her room just two rooms down from me and the nurses come in to wrap my foot. I look down to see my foot is three times the size and is all different colors. I am told that I broke my right foot in the accident. It was the worst possible time to get my first broken bone, and I instantly freak out. My heart is racing, and I feel absolutely doomed. “I HAVE AN AUDITION IN LESS THAN A MONTH!” I yell. I started to cry and the nurses ask, “Audition for what?” I tell them, “I have an audition to play drums for Cyndi Lauper.”